Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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