You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
