When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
