oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
