I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
