I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
