Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
