She's JV to your varsity
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize