wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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