i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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