so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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