I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
