I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I party with great urgency now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
