Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
