I skipped work to stalk him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
