the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
