i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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