What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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