Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
