I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
