I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
