We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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