So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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