HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We're not piercing ourselves today.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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