I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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