Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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