i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize