Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
