dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Shame - the story of my life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
