i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
