remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
