She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
