i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
