He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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