I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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