Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
