At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
