you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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