this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
