Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
