i love accidental penises.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
