my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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