This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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