I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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