I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
