it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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