is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
