i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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