im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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