Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They have beer where we have blood.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize