i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize