he wants to bone in the snuggie
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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