i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
