If that was your dad, he is hot
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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