Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
