you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
