accomplished twins. life is a go
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
