he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
