The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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