You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
