we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
