Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
