whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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