I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
