It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
