The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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