you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
